Well, Patrick just walked out of the house and into his own life…and I cannot be prouder, yet sadder at this moment. I knew that this day would come, and it needed to come, but at the same time I want to be selfish and not have it happen. Patrick was not only my son, but he was my friend. I know a lot of people that say you can’t be a friend to your own child, but I disagree with that totally. For the past few years, Patrick was there for me when I needed it the most; through thick and thin, he was there….he was the steady for me, and I hope that I was the steady for him. You know, the one person that you went to no matter what happened.
Patrick and I are so much alike, that in order to finish growing, we need to step out of the comfort zone and into the unknown…I did it at 19 going onto the Air Force, out of a small town that offered no hope, no promise for a future that I wanted; and he is doing it at 22, leaving to go drive trucks over the road, getting out of a small town that offers no hope, no promises for the future that he wants. I now know how my parents felt as I walked away, oblivious what was behind me, and looking only forward…..as Patrick walks, looking forward into his future. I did not forget my parents, their lessons of life that they gave me, nor that they were there always to love and support me. I might have been too oblivious to what was behind me sometimes, but I never forgot; and I hope that I have gotten Patrick ready for his journey as my parents prepared me.
Although he is only leaving for a career, and not forever, I still feel the emptiness of knowing that he will not be right here for me to lean on, to be able to rely on for what he has given me…..pride, courage, support, and friendship. I look forward to our calls, emails, chats, online game playing, skype, yahoo, or any other method that we communicate while he is on the road, and I look even more forward to the days that he is back in town, even if I only get a glimpse of him.
I am very proud of you Patrick, and I love you…..and even though you left just 30 minutes ago, I miss you. Drive safe, be safe, and come home soon.